


Server Crash

by Smaug_the_unassessably_wealthy



Category: Iron Man - Fandom
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, OC (Amy Stark), Pepper has to deal with both of them, Tony has a sassy kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smaug_the_unassessably_wealthy/pseuds/Smaug_the_unassessably_wealthy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy crashes the server. Tony is not pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Server Crash

**Author's Note:**

> Random idea that popped into my head a while back, but seeing Iron Man 3 made me want to get it written. May write more with Amy, but for now, I'll just leave this here for you guys.

"Amy!"

"What is it, Dad, I'm kinda busy."

"You wanna tell me why my house server is 'temporarily inaccessible'? I swear to God, if you got a virus in my system watching porn or something stupid like that, I will confiscate that laptop for the rest of your natural life."

"I'm making an AI, I needed to get JARVIS's blueprints."

"So you shut down the server? Of course, that makes perfect sense. Amy needs blueprints--let's just shut down, take everything back to square one. So logical."

"Honestly, Dad, the diva act is not flattering in the slightest, cut it out. And it's not shut down, it's just compiling. Look, Dad, I'll be done in twenty minutes, I promise."

"Amy, sweetie, no. Look, I'm in the middle of something really important here. Some of us actually work. You know, do actual, important things that will bring about the betterment of mankind, and not practice breaking into secure systems like an amateur hacker with her shiny new laptop. See, that's what I'm doing right now. I'm doing work."

"You mean tinkering with the suit."

"No, I mean work."

"It's kinda the same thing, Dad."

"Amy, it's not kinda the same thing--Look. Can't this wait? I have a lot to do right now, if I don't figure out this software, the suit won't fly, and I have to do press tomorrow morning. I need the suit working by ten o'clock. You know I work best under pressure. Do you know how much I could get done in twenty minutes, were the server online?"

"No, pray tell, which third-world country would you save in twenty minutes? Or maybe you'd save the whole universe, just to spice up your day."

"Hey, I find that offensive. Have respect, I'm your father. And, for the record, I can do a lot in twenty minutes. I once built a complex circuit board in twenty minutes. And that was when I was eight, sweetie."

"Whatever, Dad. Save it, I'm still not stopping."

"I made you in twenty minutes."

"Oh, my God! Dad, what the hell? That was completely unnecessary and disgusting and-"

"Put my server back online, sweetie."

". . . Fine. But I want those blueprints."

"I'll give them to you tomorrow, if you're good and don't hack my server again."

"It's not your server, Dad. It belongs to the whole house, I can do what I want with it. It's a free country."

"Which means I am free to disable your use of said server. Which, by the way, actually is mine, I made it, if you'll notice all the little bits and pieces have my name engraved on them. I guess that could be your name, too, but regardless, those pieces are mine. The software is patented. Make your own server, then bring up ownership rights with me."

"Dad?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"I hate you."

"Hmm, so do a lot of people. Try harder."

"I will kill you in your sleep."

"Nope. I know you wouldn't do that. Guess again."

"I hope you step on a lego in the dark--barefoot!"

"Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Dear God, I didn't think you had it in you. You really are my daughter. Congrats on your nice, new, brass balls, sweetie. Though we might have to have an updated version of The Talk, now that you're making the transition from female to male. Don't get me wrong, I'm supportive, but for Chrissakes don't put your new dick in something stupid, like a light socket. You're smart enough to know that, right?"

"For God's sake, Tony, stop baiting her, you're giving me a headache."

"Thanks, Pepper."

"You're welcome, Amy. Now, can you all please stop bickering and put the server back online? I have a conference call with some investors in five minutes, and I need the computers functional."

"Okay. Sorry, Pepper."

"It's okay, just keep in mind there are others in the house who use the server, too."

"Okay."

"All right. I'm leaving you alone now."

"Well, that went surprisingly well, all things considered."

"Shut up, Dad."

". . . Hey, you wanna come down to the shop? I'll show you how to program your own AI on a private server."

"You are totally the best dad ever."


End file.
